Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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