its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
