and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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