Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
