Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
