On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
