Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
