I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
