Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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