Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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