he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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