I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
