So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
