I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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