ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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