here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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