im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
