Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize