I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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