i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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