The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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