i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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