Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
