fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
