her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Randomize
