Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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