didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize