i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
