Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
