is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
