My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
