No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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