I just made out with a guy for $7.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize