What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
