6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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