And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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