so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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