Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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