Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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