You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
zippers are such a cool invention
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
