My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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