tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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