i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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