my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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