just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
