Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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