Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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