your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
