if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
