I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
