at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
