the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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