guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
