weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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