Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
