You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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