Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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