Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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