the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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