I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
