the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
