haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
